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Balance, Self Care, Uncategorized

Balance, Wellness, and Self Care; Behind the Buzzwords

Balance, wellness, and self care, oh my! Literally, everywhere we turn this is slapped in our faces. Words that most will roll their eyes to, because how can anyone be balanced, well or even have time to take care of them selves in this tightly wound, fast paced, busy lifestyle that is enabled every where we turn?! We live in a world where taking time off of work for even just necessary appointments, parental leave, or God forbid, a sick child, we are looked down upon, sometimes reprimanded for. We are expected to have a thriving life, career, and children with little support getting there. Cue the shame, comparisons, and insecurities that eat away at a thriving life, career, and children.

It’s true though, the world we are in now is not the grounded, disconnected, simple life we might have grown up with. But we have gotten a lot of what we wanted, like more conveniences (hello, Amazon Prime), technology at our finger tips (literally glued to our hands), and connection to anyone, any place, at any given moment. What was hugely missed was the opportunity to keep some of the “down” time because of the fast paced lifestyle. But we didn’t, we filled it with more meetings, work, and/or mindless social media scrolling. We are now being indirectly rewarded for running ourselves ragged. Getting ourselves farther from balance, wellness, and self care. So, yea, when someone comes at you with get balanced, well and do your self care, that may be triggering.

These words, balance, wellness, and self care are buzzwords for a reason, because the world needs it more than ever. These buzzwords fly left and right, but when you can see the intention that they have behind them and how, maybe, just maybe, the world needs a little more of them, they might actually bring something positive to your life.

What do I mean?

Well, start by evaluating your life, what area of your life could use a little more balance? Where could you be more intentional? Maybe self care for you, in your hectic life, just means taking a five minute walk in fresh air or maybe even just taking in some deep breaths to calm your nervous system. It doesn’t have to be trips to the spa or getting your nails done, unless that is something that lights up your life. You do you!

Becoming more balanced doesn’t have to be complicated. Start simple with something manageable. You don’t even have to spend money, get creative. The best place to start is to think about things that put a smile on your face, refreshes you and makes you feel good. Following those instincts lead you on the path to a better well being. Another little insider tip, balance is something we have to actively work on and give attention to. Life can hit us hard when we aren’t looking so it becomes a give and take. I call this action, Balancebuilding®. What feels balanced to you is not always what feels balanced to someone else.

We can’t change societal stigmas without first changing ourselves. If we want the world to have a better balance we need to first find our own. If we want the world to be well, we need to prioritize wellness as individuals. If we want the world to acknowledge self care, we need to take it. We can only give the energy we have.

Where do you go from here?

  • Acknowledge where you are. Hold yourself accountable.
  • Meet yourself where you are.
  • Show yourself some love and grace. A journey to one’s self is never easy but always worth it.
  • Reach out for help and communicate your needs clearly. Whether that is to a family member, friend, or even a professional to help get you where you want to be.
  • Communicate from a place of love. Sometimes we can be so overwhelmed and anxious that we can sound harsh. Speak from your true feelings and exactly what you need. Understand that people are not mind readers and you can not hold them accountable for what you didn’t communicate.
  • Organize your priorities. Making a list of your top priorities daily or weekly will help you say no to things that are getting in your way of being your best self.
  • Take action! Again, balance and true wellness take intention. Plan your day according to your priorities.

These steps will encourage the feeling of accomplishment, self confidence, and your authentic self. Doesn’t that make for huge successes? Behind the buzzwords are actions that could truly save your well being. Aren’t we all just trying to be truly happy as our authentic selves? What are you waiting for?

Balance, Self Care

End of a Decade, Beginning of a new Birth Year

It’s New Year’s Eve and also the day I have made 34 trips around the sun. I never really thought of my birthday on New Year’s Eve as very special until I got older. What is most people’s end of a year is my beginning. And it is such a self reflective day. I’m not sure there has been any other year that I have had this much personal growth.


Last year, I started a new tradition of picking a word for the upcoming years. These words act as affirmations and can be a motivation to resolutions. It is something to come back to when you find yourself off track. My word was DHARMA. Dharma is a sanskrit spiritual word for your personal truth or duty, life purpose. I have dedicated this year to that and it has been a year full of digging deep within myself to focus in on the energy I put into the world. I have found the more you give the more you receive.


My year consisted of…

-Quitting my corporate job to be a stay at home working for myself Mom

-Lots of yoga training-RYT200 Yoga Certification

-Pre/Postnatal Yoga Certification

-Pelvic floor Yoga Certification

-Teaching my first yoga classes/workshops

-Went on 2 vacations

– One sans Maddux and the other was Maddux’s First vaca

-I finished breastfeeding after 15 months 🎉 #freedom

-I won 2 life changing experiences on Instagram–One was a 60 min consult with Heaven Sent Sleep- it was definitely heaven sent. For the first 14 months of Maddux’s life he NEVER slept through the night. Like I’m talking multiple wake ups! I couldn’t do it anymore. Since then, he has slept through the night, every night! The other experience I won was an Akashic Record reading from Melita Mollohan. Wow. What an experience. She gave me insight into my life and also reassurance into other parts. The main thing I appreciate is the peace she gave me for the upcoming challenging parts. If you ever get the chance to do so, do it!

-Started writing a book

-During a challenging matter (a later blog post will explain) I actually created one of my proudest creations yet, my Postpartum Wellness Recovery Course. This is when I realized I was put here to help women and moms navigate through life with the best of tools. Balancebuilding was perfected in this moment.

-Sold our home

-Moved to a rental

-Found a home in Buckhannon

-Found a little more “go with the flow attitude”

-Found the difference between myself as a Mom and as an individual.

-Discovered detachment to material things/situations/and whatever does not serve me any longer is the key to really living life.

I look at this list and I am astounded and proud of how much I have done and how far I have come! I also notice that most of this list can be mapped back to my word of the year for 2019, DHARMA. I really stuck to it even though sometimes it might not have seemed that way. Progress over perfection. This is why reflection is so important to where you are headed.

You don’t realize how much a year can change your life until you reflect. My new word for this upcoming word is EXPANSION. I want to expand on what 2019 brought me. I will soon be starting 2020 off in a new town and I am excited to see what it has to offer! Change can be scary but it also can create growth like you have never felt.

If you haven’t done some self reflecting on 2019, I suggest you do so. Focus on the good and look at how far you have come. This will help you create your goals and intentions for 2020 and a positive mindset for starting the year.

Journaling prompts for self reflection…

If I could tell my 2018 self about 2019, what would I say?

If I could pick 2 pivotal moments from 2019 what would they be?

What was the greatest improvements I have made this year?

How can 2020 be even better than 2019?

What do I plan to bring to the table in 2020?

I would love to hear from you! Let me know if something resonates, and keep being your best, true self! Thank you to those who have reached out on my special day and I hope you all have the best New Year!

Mom Wellness, Uncategorized

What Moms Really Want for Christmas

Significant others, listen up closely, and, others, take note if you are getting a gift for a Mama! And Moms, share this with your people, you will thank yourself later for doing so!

Holidays are right around the corner and there will be a lot of gifts that get stuffed away and never thought of again. There will also be so many mothers that ask for nothing and won’t say what they really want because they are more concerned with how the holidays will be for others. Even though I love surprises, I am a big advocate of communicating what you really want, just so there is no confusion, everyone is happy and it won’t be wasted money or energy.

So first thing I would do is literally ask the Mom in your life what she wants. If she loves surprises, have her make a list of different things. If answering that makes her uncomfortable try one of these…

*If you are the Mom, I suggest getting comfortable with communicating exactly what it is you want, especially when asked! Release the mom guilt, you deserve a Merry Christmas as much as everyone else! And this communication practice will help for future situations that encourages healthy and authentic relationships.

  1. Time alone

This gift can simply be a homemade certificate that she can cash in anytime or you can set up an event or get a gift certificate like a spa day, a wellness retreat, workout/yoga class she loves, a target gift card, whatever she is into! It doesn’t have to be expensive, the time alone is going to be so good for her well being it will mean so much more.

  1. Sleep

This one is more for significant others but no, I am not kidding, sleep is such a gift as a mom. This could happen to be the best gift you could ever give her. Take on the morning duty alone and let the Goddess get her beauty rest. Again, you could make a homemade gift certificate, maybe with a few Sleep In certificates that she can cash or schedule. Or if the child/children are having sleep issues that is affecting Mom’s wellbeing – gift her a sleep consult with a children’s sleep expert. I have worked with a sleep expert and it was the best thing for not only my son’s health, but mine. I was a literal zombie, or Mombie, and after getting my son sleeping I felt like a million bucks. Don’t hesitate, it’s worth every penny to have someone set up a custom sleep plan for your family. Sponsorless shout out to Heaven Sent Sleep.

  1. House Cleaner/Car Detail

Releasing a Mom of a cleaning duty or her coming home to a clean house/car is going to make her day! This is a service that can be done by a significant other or gifted as a service done by a professional. That gives her more quality time to spend with family, which is what all moms really want.

  1. Babysitting

YESSSSS!!!! This is worth the price of gold to moms. Whether you are a spouse setting up a babysitter to take her on a date or a family member/friend that offers services as a babysitter, schedule a date that works for her and set it up so she doesn’t bail out and feel possible mom guilt. Even if it is for a couple of hours, it will be much appreciated.

Moms are simple creatures who just want to enjoy the simple moments in life. Moms spend so much time worrying about if everyone else is happy that they tend to neglect their own self care, so you can’t go wrong with gifting something that is going to light up her soul and fill her cup. When Mom is filled, the whole family benefits from it. The gift that keeps giving!

Happy Holidays and Merry Mom Christmas! 🙂

For Balancebuilding Philosophy Gift Certificates Contact Brandi at Balancebuilding@brandimills.net

Uncategorized

Sick Child Survival Tips

‘Tis the season for sick children. If you are like me, you really think your immune system is top notch, until you have your first child. My son’s first year of life, I am really not sure if he was ever not sick. On top of being a food allergy baby and dealing with eczema and a constant runny nose, he was in daycare, which is like the cutest little human petri dish. He had the flu, on constant ear infection that led to tubes in his ears and let’s not forget about all of the teething that first year. Exhausting mentally and physically for everyone. I have never felt so helpless as I did when trying to soothe my sick child. And not to mention, I have never caught so many bugs in my life. And the lack of sleep alone can drive our insanity through the roof. Whew, it really takes survival mode!

This is that part of life I talk about where it becomes a huge bump in the road toward your goals. Obviously, this stuff happens and when you have kids you can’t predict when this will happen. And it always seems to happen at the most inopportune times, because LIFE!!

Tips to help you survive all of the nasty bugs your child/children get…

  1. Release expectations of everything else

Taking care of a sick family takes a lot out of you, not to mention if you are sick too! I am talking forget the dishes, vacuuming, only wash laundry that you need. Prioritize everyone’s health, including your own, literally survival mode. Make life easy on yourself, use those paper plates. Rest when you can, you can worry about the rest of things when you feel back to normal.

  1. Communicate logistics and Ask for help!

Number one, talk with your partner to see who can take off work and plan ahead. So coming up with a couple of different plans for a couple of days is going to make this whole process easier. And it takes a village, use them! When you need to call in more than you or your spouse, do it! Let go, and let someone help.

  1. Self-Care

Self-care in this situation looks a little different than your mani/pedi visit but still do it! In this critical moment, self- care is taking your vitamins, loading up on vitamin c, zinc, and elderberry. Wash those hands like it’s going out of style! Change those snotty, pukey clothes often so you don’t completely soak in all of their germs. There is nothing easy about sick kids, so keep yourself as healthy as possible.

  1. Lower those expectations!

This is where life is put on hold, so who cares about the kid’s screen time, healthy dinners. Don’t feel guilt about grabbing that take out, vegging out on the couch, not getting anything done. Number one priority is making it out of this germ filled quarantine.

  1. Release the guilt!

Release the guilt of taking sick days at work, they will survive. Yes, it doesn’t matter what your job is, the parenting job comes first, don’t let others dictate how you feel about your priority. Release the guilt of thinking this is your fault somehow, like, if they weren’t in daycare, if they didn’t go to the park, if they didn’t go to that birthday party. Seriously, you can only do so much to prevent this. It is going to happen! Release the guilt of being the perfect parent. It is a learning curve, and when babies and kids are sick, it is like a treasure hunt on how to make them feel better, you are doing your best!!! Let me say this again…. YOU ARE DOING YOUR BEST AND THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS! Soak that in!!

There is nothing worse than sick children but guess what, it happens! It happens to the best of us and all we can do, is be our best for them when they need us. Stay healthy and strong, my friends, and hope you can use the tips for the rest of flu season!!

Mom Wellness

Ever have doubts and wonder if you were made for this Mom title?

With my son’s birthday a couple of ago, I have been looking back at pictures from his birth in complete amazement. I re-lived his birth and to be honest I didn’t have a very blissful experience and my recovery was so hard on me physically and mentally, so it’s something I don’t like to go back to often. But this moment captured in this picture was a pivotal moment in my life and the exact moment I realized that this child was meant for me. He was mine and I was his.

I remember this exact moment and I am so glad it was captured because the day was a blur and it confirmed what I felt. After he was delivered by emergency caesarian section, he was evaluated by the NICU because meconium was found in the amniotic fluid. So, I didn’t even get to see him for what felt like a lifetime. I was shaking from the anesthesia, scared because I wasn’t sure if he was ok, and was in shock and exhaustion from the long labor and emergency delivery. Thankfully my husband was able to be right there with Maddux and even bring him to me when he was cleared. As he was bringing him to me, Maddux was crying, and as soon as he snuggled up close to my face, it was like Maddux just knew, he calmed immediately. His face softened, his hand felt my face and he was safe. Close to his mama. Close to the person that he has been nestled in for 9 months prior.

If I had to go back and tell my new mom self something, I would say, “Brandi, this might be tough, this might be extremely challenging, but you are tougher! You are strong. Your baby loves you and that is all that matters. Don’t let others dictate how you walk through this journey. Communicate your feelings as best as you can. Ask for help, even when you hesitate and think it might make you seem weak, ask for help! Hire that sleep consultant sooner than 14 months, being a zombie isn’t all that fun. It’s ok to not love motherhood at all times, but I promise Maddux is worth every second, so trust the process. Love yourself as much as you love that baby. Everything will be ok, even when you think it won’t. And YOU ARE THE BEST MOM FOR MADDUX, I can tell by the way he hugs and kisses you!!”

When you are in the thick of motherhood it can be hard to clear your vision. If you find times where you aren’t sure if you were made for this job, or you are wondering whether you are a good enough mom, you were good enough without even laying eyes on each other! You were good enough without them knowing anything about the world. You were good enough when you were all they had.

You are their world, you are their safety. This was my personal experience but I am sure if you look back on your journey with your little one, you have a moment where you just knew. That moment of connection, even if it wasn’t right off the bat.

There are times in this journey where you can feel defeated, not good enough, compare yourself to other moms, feel like you just aren’t cut out. But let me give you a little insider tip… everyone has these feelings at some point, but it is our responsibility to ourselves to change the perspective. You owe it to yourself to change the narrative. Switch the negatives to positives and if that isn’t possible in the moment you are in, switch it to a neutral comment.

Instead of I am not good enough, change the narrative to I am enough, or I am doing the best I can. And repeat this to yourself over and over again. These affirmations are so important to our mom well-being.

If you were to go back to the new mom you were, who just gave birth to your little being, what would you tell her? What would you insist she do from that point forward?